Alone in a Crowded Room- Free Verse Poem

Alone in a Crowded Room
Have you ever been alone?
I don't mean you didn't have a girlfriend
Or a guy, or whatever you fancy
Or that your friends haven’t rung you up
And your family is too busy
To give their son a visit.
And your siblings are too engrossed
In their existence
To see yours.

I mean truly alone.

When I was just a boy
I went to the moors of Scotland
There was nothing but fog
And the rain
And the insects
And the muddied grass
The color of sorrow
And the slow beating
Of my empty heart
And that was when I realized
The best day of my life had come

I didn’t fear anyone
I didn’t hate anyone
I didn’t love anyone
I didn’t know anyone
Because in the moors
No one mattered
Especially not me

When I was with others
I never felt more alone
In that crowded room
I felt myself suffocating
And my voice
Pleading for help
For anyone to just take the time
to say;
“Why are you so sad?”
“What are these marks on your wrists?”
“You seem nice”
“I love you”

I have never heard those words
And I never will
Because the chaos in my own
rotten skull

Is too much already
So why should I bother to reach out
To you?
When you can't
Stop me from drowning?
Please.
Please pull me up.
Please.
Please say something.
Please.

But I have heard the heartbeat of the moors

And I know that loneliness
Is the cure to itself